


Don’t Eat Rocks

by IantoMcKay



Series: NYC is bullshit but that’s alright because life goes on [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Bad Fic, Bring Me to Life, Crack, Gen, Kevin and Connor are like only mentioned, Please Don't Hate Me, like seriously this is hella cursed, super bad person, wake up and smell the cool-aid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 14:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15632442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IantoMcKay/pseuds/IantoMcKay
Summary: Peter and Iron Tony must fight a super bad person





	Don’t Eat Rocks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elephreak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elephreak/gifts).



> I’m very sorry but I had to do this.  
> I don’t know how to write, but I still want to express my gratitude for your amazing Spiderman fic that you’ve chosen to share with the fandom, so here’s a bullshit story for you <3

So where we last left off we were in a completely different fandom that has nothing to do with this and honestly Kevin and Connor don’t want anything to do with this mcfucking bullshit. They just want to create a permanent cure for milklessness.

So… Peter Parker was just derping around with his best bro friend Ned and they didn’t suffer from milklessness because that’s a completely different story (stop bothering me about it)  
Anyway... they were just having fuuuuuuuuuuuuun in New York City when suddenly there was a big ass explosion over at Mount Brooklyn (yes that actually exists).  
Ned was like “duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude the mountain just went boom boom” and Peter was like “bro I have to call my Iron Dad”.  
So Peter called his Iron Dad on his Iron phone with his Iron number.  
The Iron phone went ring ring and Ion Dad picked up.  
“Yo wasssup Spoder sun” Iron Tony said when he picked up his iorn phone.  
“Yo iron dad the big fucking mountain over in Brooklyn just fucking exploded”  
“I’m going to get my Iron suit” Ion Tony yelled  
“Im gonna put on my non iron suit and we can go fight bad men or women I don’t assume gender”

5 seconds later Iron Tony and Peter arrived at the exact same time as each other at mount Brooklyn (they can both travel at the speed of light)  
“Honestly Iron Dad I think it’s fucking dumb that we have mountain in Br00klyn” Peter said like a rock  
Iron Tony did confused because why would Peter sound like a rock!  
“You’re fucking stupid, have you been eating rocks again” Iron Tony asked confusion?  
Peter also did confused but then went OwO because he loved eating rocks.  
Suddenly there was a big boom and a big fire and a super bad person appeared with a potato gun.  
The person looked hella ugly and had on a Oscorp tshirt.  
“Yo wassup you stupid egg head” Peter yelled at the super bad person because FUCK OSCORP!!! ANYWAY!!! The super bad person began shooting magic or some other bullshit IDFK? So Peter and Iron Tony began fiting the super person.  
Peter shot the super bad person in da face with his super spider web and Iron Tony used his Iron suit to blast the super bad person into pieces but it didn’t work because the super bad person had super powers.  
Peter saw a cat and picked it up and threw it at the super bad person and the super bad person caught it with his fucking face and then he died.  
The cat was actually a huge ass tiger with laser eyes and a small shotgun (the cat tiger was okay dw).  
Iron Tony over to the super dead super bad person and yelled “WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COOL-AID” Iron Tony didn’t know that the super bad person was ded.  
“The super bad person is dead you fucking idiot” Peter said  
“Shut your mouth you smelly melon” Iron Tony totally yelled  
SUDDENLY Peter grabbed is Spider stomach and said “Mr. Iron Stark I don’t feel so good” and then he grabbed Iron Tony by his shoulders.  
“Please play Bring Me To Life by Evanescene at my funeral because I’m about to die Mr. Iron Stark” Peter said manly definitely not crying.  
Iron Tony did the only right thing and began singing “WAKE ME UP INSIDE BID MY BLOOD TO RUN I CANT WAKE UP”  
But then suddenly Peter was okay because he just had a stomach ache because it’s not healthy to eat rocks so Iron Tony gave him some Paracetamol and then he was okay so Peter went (◕‿◕✿) and Iron Tony started river dancing  
So everything was fine after that except FRIDAY had a seizure because she read one of Peter’s dumbass texts to Iron Tony :3  
THE END


End file.
